


Be strong, be kind, be brave

by Vampiric_Charms



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Coping with war and loss, F/F, some anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27758959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampiric_Charms/pseuds/Vampiric_Charms
Summary: Bo-Katan is having a difficult time accepting the loss of Mandalore to the Empire and the destruction left behind.  In the process of attempting to console her with very little luck, Ahsoka faces a few lingering shadows of her own.  Turns out they both need each other more than they first thought.
Relationships: Bo-Katan Kryze/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 17
Kudos: 68





	Be strong, be kind, be brave

**Author's Note:**

> Set after my last fic, but you certainly don't have to read that one first. There are some slight spoilers for _Ahsoka_ by E.K. Johnston, but blink and you'll miss them. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (The title comes from this [beautiful song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om3e4qOxdLs&ab_channel=EquivocalTruth) that has gotten me through 2020 so far. It's worth a listen.)

Finding Bo-Katan when she didn’t wish to be found was a monumental task.

Even though the surviving Mandalorians were doing well in the mid-sized Alderaanian town, Bo-Katan rarely joined them during the days. Instead, Ahsoka was told, she had started taking to the nearby mountains, seeking the solitude they provided. A tactic, Ahsoka knew, that was either a coping mechanism as she continued processing everything she had been through or a smokescreen while she planned something bravely stupid. 

Neither option sat well in Ahsoka’s stomach as she started the trek into the forest and up the steep mountain that she had been steered toward.

As Ahsoka trudged further into the dense northern foliage, a small bright tug lighted in her chest. Bo-Katan wasn’t too far away, if Ahsoka could already feel her through the Force, and she was a steady, thrumming pulse in Ahsoka’s mind, reassuring with its regularity and strength. 

Ahsoka followed the pull, hardly needing to think as she ventured deeper and deeper into the woods. It was chilly, the higher she got, and she pulled her cloak tight around her shoulders, appreciating the last of the sun through the trees.

After only a quarter of an hour, Ahsoka reached the uppermost ridge. The treeline gave way to a rocky outcropping, with a canyon that dropped nearby to give a beautiful view of the connecting mountain range. They weren’t quite into the winter season yet, and the trees throughout the valley were brilliant greens, golds, reds, all lit like fire below.

And there Bo-Katan was, sitting on a large rock overlooking the valley and all its glory. She was divested of her armor, instead wearing a heavy down coat to ward off the ever-present chill of this region, which was creeping in by the second as the sun slowly began to set. But her beskar was still very near, just at her side, and her helmet was grasped tightly in her lap.

She seemed to be deep in thought, staring far away and at nothing at all.

“I hate this place.”

Ahsoka started when Bo-Katan spoke, assuming she hadn’t brought any attention to herself as she broke the treeline. She was wrong, though, and Bo-Katan shot a quick glance over her shoulder to pierce Ahsoka with those green-yellow eyes. She turned away again quickly.

“Are you here to give me a lecture?” she asked, apparently unamused by Ahsoka’s sudden company. “Maybe about how I shouldn’t wander away?”

“No,” Ahsoka answered carefully, aware of the minefield she was wading into. She took a few steps closer, gauging her welcome and preparing to leave if Bo-Katan didn’t want her there. “I was just worried about you, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Bo-Katan scoffed, still looking away. She bent her knees and hunched forward over her helmet to wrap her arms around her shins. “Worried about me. Sure you were.”

Not taking offense to Bo-Katan’s usual sour mood, Ahsoka climbed up onto the rock beside her and sat down. “But I _am_ worried about you,” she said quietly, keeping her cloak tight around her shoulders as she settled. When Bo-Katan didn’t respond or even look at her, she sighed, accepting the lukewarm acceptance at face value. “I’m sorry I haven’t been back sooner. I had some business to attend to for Bail and it took a bit longer than I thought it would.”

Still Bo-Katan didn’t answer, only snorting disdainfully at the mention of Bail Organa and his resistance movement. They hadn’t spoken of it much, and now was certainly not the time. 

Ahsoka fell silent, too, wanting to say something to help but a little lost as to what she should do in this uncharted situation between them. Enemies to grudging acquaintances to this tentative friendship - it was a rocky road, where Bo-Katan was concerned. So Ahsoka just sat there beside her, quiet and calm as they watched the glorious winter sun go down over the mountains in the distance.

“Ursa left,” Bo-Katan finally said into the heavy stillness. “Some of the others went with her.”

Ahsoka looked at her. The fading sunlight was burning across her face, highlighting the fierce downward turn of her eyebrows and giving a sharp glint to her unusual eyes. She looked angry. Miserable, even. “They didn’t tell me in town,” Ahsoka replied steadily, voice hushed in the hopes Bo would keep talking rather than clamming up again. 

She did continue, and her words tore through Ahsoka’s spirit with the anguish Bo-Katan was radiating the longer they sat.

“They’re losing confidence in me,” she stated, believing it herself. 

“Come on, Bo, that’s not - ”

Bo-Katan would not be deterred, scathing as she pushed on. “What kind of leader am I if my own people are so willing to desert me as soon as they can? What kind of person does that make me, that no one can look to me for guidance or reassurance?”

“Bo…” But Ahsoka wasn’t truly sure what to say. The presence Ahsoka had of her through the Force, it felt scattered, despondent, and very much not like the over-confident woman Ahsoka knew. It was troubling to see Bo-Katan so lost, like Ahsoka’s own mooring was shifted without the other’s previously ceaseless mettle. 

Words meant very little in the face of so much loss, nor in the face of so little hope. She remained silent.

“I understand why they wanted to leave,” Bo-Katan continued unhappily. “Our home is gone, returning is impossible - and none of us have a death wish,” she added with a short and self-deprecating laugh that held no mirth at all. “They deserve to have real lives - safe lives, with their families. I can’t give that to them.”

“Yes you can,” Ahsoka told her fiercely, turning her upper body to face Bo-Katan so they could see each other clearly. “Maybe not right this second, but you are a good leader. A _strong_ leader. They know that, they do. And you _will_ get your home back. It might take a long time, but I believe you can make it happen.”

She reached out and put her hand on Bo-Katan’s forearm where it wrapped across her knees. Bo-Katan finally turned her head to look at Ahsoka around the long fringe of her flaming hair. Ahsoka smiled at her, and was relieved when Bo-Katan gave her a tiny one in return. It flickered away quickly, though. Ahsoka dropped her hand.

“The rumors about the Jedi,” Bo-Katan hedged after a moment, “are they true?”

Before she could even fully parse the question, Ahsoka’s heart thudded painfully against her sternum and then jumped immediately into her throat. The mere mention of the Jedi was enough to send her reeling, and she took a slow, steady breath of chilly air. All the fear she had felt that day was still too near even after all this time and it took so little to bring it to the surface. 

“What rumors?” she asked anyway, needing to hear Bo-Katan say the words just in case she was dreaming this entire conversation. She hoped she was. 

Bo-Katan glanced at her again, apparently aware she had hit a very sore subject. She frowned. “We heard - we heard they had been slaughtered. I wasn’t sure what to believe, it all sounded so far-fetched. But given everything else that’s happened...”

Ahsoka inhaled quickly, feeling it catch on her tight airway. Hearing the words actually made it worse. She nodded, all she could manage, and turned her eyes down to the rock beneath them. “Yes, it’s true.”

“Oh.”

This time Bo-Katan reached out, grabbing Ahsoka’s hand in hers and squeezing. The touch was unexpected but extremely comforting, and Ahsoka took a deep breath and rubbed at her nose with her other hand before she started crying. Her reality was devastating, when she thought about it too long. It was difficult to live with, sometimes, though having Bo-Katan beside her just then helped ease the pain just the slightest bit. That was enough.

Ahsoka held tight to Bo-Katan’s hand as she forced herself to elaborate at least a little bit when Bo-Katan was being so kind to her. “I don’t know if there are other survivors. When I meditate, it’s like...it’s like I’m all alone for the very first time. I’ve never felt that way inside the Force before.” She bit her lip, stuck on what else to say.

“You’ve lost your home, too,” Bo-Katan whispered.

Ahsoka nodded. “Yeah.”

“The Empire is a damned blight on the galaxy,” Bo-Katan spat angrily, her grip strengthening but not pulling away. “They destroy everything they touch.” She was silent for a moment before asking, very quietly, “What about Obi-Wan? Do you know what became of him?”

“No,” Ahsoka murmured distantly. “I don’t know what became of any of them, not even my own master. They’re just - just gone.”

Bo-Katan hummed, a sad sound in her throat, and looked back out at the deepening sky. “Well, maybe he and my sister are together after all, through their deaths.”

It was a miserable thought and Ahsoka sniffed, close to crying again. Bo-Katan noticed her discomfort and turned her hand over to lace their fingers together, an unspoken conciliatory gesture that Ahsoka greatly appreciated. All of this was just so much, sometimes, and she had a difficult time coping with the vastness of her loss even as she moved on the best she could.

“Satine really did love him, you know,” Bo-Katan said quietly, a subtle and much needed change of subject. “I never really knew him, myself, except for the times I rescued him from certain death - but she was head over heels right until the end. She wanted to marry him, back when we were young. He meant a great deal to her.”

This was an unspoken history Anakin knew much better than she did, but Ahsoka grinned despite herself. “I think he loved her, too, in his own way. In the _Jedi_ way, I guess, which is sometimes not really enough. Nothing in the Order was enough.”

Bo-Katan glanced at her and Ahsoka reluctantly raised her eyes to meet that fierce look. She was expecting a tirade, for Bo-Katan to agree with her and point out every way the Jedi had failed her, had failed Mandalore, had failed Satine. But instead Bo-Katan just studied her for a moment, her face shadowed now as the sun disappeared behind the mountains. She was smirking.

“What?” Ahsoka asked warily.

“That kid, Lux Bonteri - was he your only kiss?”

“Bo! What - no!” Ahsoka reeled back, her face burning at the unexpected question. But Bo-Katan laughed at her response, which only made her more embarrassed at the turn this had taken. She had never heard Bo-Katan laugh and it made her feel unbalanced in a way she was unaccustomed to. Irritated, she tugged her hand out of Bo-Katan’s grasp and glared at her. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Just curious,” she said, still chuckling at Ahsoka’s reaction as she clasped her hands around her knees again. “Since the Jedi Order you all adhere to so staunchly forbids - what is it, love? Attachment? Kriff, how do you guys get on with such a boring life?”

“Very well, thank you,” Ahsoka retorted sourly. She remembered Kaeden then, what she had said about wanting to kiss Ahsoka upon her rescue from the Imperial compound so long ago, and her stomach felt tight with things she had never really thought about before. “Keeping our emotions in line keeps our minds free. Allowing ourselves to get attached has consequences.”

“Okay, sure. _Consequences_.”

Bo-Katan began to laugh again and Ahsoka hit her arm. “Stop making fun of me.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Bo-Katan rocked into her to playfully knock their shoulders together, still smiling and likely taking great fun from Ahsoka’s discomfort. “But he was, wasn’t he? That little twerp, I could have snapped him in half like a twig. What a shame.”

“What, a shame that he was my only kiss?” Ahsoka asked, face horribly warm with the admission. “Or because you didn’t get to break him in half when you had the chance?”

“Both,” she immediately said with far too much cheer. “I hated that kid, he was such an idiot.”

Ahsoka made a face, trying not to laugh now herself. “You’re impossible.”

“So I’ve been told.” 

Bo-Katan sobered quickly, though, and stared out over the dark valley below them. It was properly cold now, their breath steaming up between them before dissipating, and here and there through the forested mountains small lights sparked to life as people continued on with their routines. It was peaceful, if the moment was taken alone and out of context. Alderaan was a calm, beautiful planet; Ahsoka enjoyed the brief times she stayed here between flying out again. She had the sense Bo-Katan did not feel the same, surely already wanting to move on again. Ahsoka couldn’t blame her. Stationary lifestyles were not something either of them were suited for.

“There was someone else,” Ahsoka said after a moment, surprising herself for revealing any of this after she had shut the conversation down so thoroughly. “Just after - after I escaped, I ended up on a moon. I met someone there, Kaeden. I helped her and her friends break away from the Empire, and she...meant a lot to me. I haven’t seen her since I left them there, but. I miss her.”

Bo-Katan watched her with interest through the starry darkness. “Are you going to go back for her?”

“I don’t know.” Ahsoka shrugged, trying to appear less affected than she was by that entire ordeal. “I might not even be able to. She and her sister are safe, though. That’s all that matters.”

“Is it, though?”

“Your questions are too difficult to answer right now, Bo.” Ahsoka glanced over to see those fierce green eyes still looking at her. “I’m not sure what you want me to say,” she grumbled, deflating a little bit. “Just because I left the Order doesn’t mean I’ve given up on all of their creeds. And besides, I have a new path to follow now and it doesn’t leave much room for attachments, either.”

“You know,” Bo-Katan said, tone much warmer than it had been when she was joking, “I’m not sure my life has room for such things, either. Here I am, last of my clan, and I’m not keen on doing anything to keep the line going. I don’t even _want_ to keep it going, honestly. At least not with my own children. Foundlings, maybe. But it’s just me now that Satine is gone, and what would be the point? She was the one who was going to continue our lineage, never me.”

Ahsoka couldn’t say she was surprised by this admission, but it still sat heavily on her chest. She hadn’t realized the deep extent of Bo-Katan’s isolation and frustrations. Thrown out homeless into the galaxy and a fugitive from the Empire? Yes, she understood that far too well. But the rest was something she had never considered, and it made her unexpectedly sad. She wanted to take up Bo-Katan’s hand again, but she wasn’t sure the physical comfort would be appreciated just then. 

Before she could think of the right thing to say, Bo-Katan glanced over at her.

“You could always be a part of my clan, Ahsoka,” she whispered, “if you want somewhere to call home. We may not have a planet to return to, either of us - but we’ll have each other. Seems important, now, to have family. We don’t need to be together to know the other will always be there, you know?”

This did take Ahsoka by surprise, and an intense fondness spread up into her throat. The offer made her want to cry. _Again_. “Are you sure?” she asked, wanting to confirm she had heard correctly. Such an offer from a Mandalorian, to join their clan - that was not something to be taken lightly, and Ahsoka’s mind buzzed.

Bo-Katan scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Of course I’m sure. It’s not like there’s anyone else to protest. And besides, a clan is always stronger with more than one person.”

Even if Bo-Katan was playing her proposal off with casual humor, the weight of it wasn’t lost on her and Ahsoka felt lightheaded with the desire to find a family again. She wasn’t meant to be alone in the world. This time she did reach out and take Bo-Katan’s hand, squeezing it with her own. “Thank you, Bo. I would be honored to be part of your clan.”

“Good.” 

Bo-Katan accented this with a sharp nod without saying anything more, but she left their hands clasped together on the rock between them. Her mood seemed better, then, more calm and less morose than she had been when Ahsoka joined her.

“We’ve been out here for a while,” Ahsoka pointed out after a long moment. “Should we go back? I’m sure the others would enjoy taking dinner with you tonight.”

Bo-Katan bit out a sigh, watching as a fire lit on another mountainside. It was very dark now, though neither of them really cared, Bo-Katan with her helmet and Ahsoka with the Force. There was nothing out there, just then, that would hurt them and the sense of safety was almost addicting.

“We probably should,” Bo-Katan grumbled glumly. But she shot a sly glance to Ahsoka, a lopsided smile giving her face a mischievous appearance even in the shadows. “Before we go, can I at least give you a better kiss than whatever Lux left you with?”

Ahsoka blinked, startled by the intimate question, and looked away from her when heat rose yet again in her cheeks. “Well, that’s not exactly a high bar,” she said, more flustered than she wanted to admit and trying uselessly to change the topic. “I didn’t want him to kiss me at all, it was awful.”

What she said, though, only brought Bo-Katan’s eyes back to hers, and she looked incensed. “Are you telling me he forced himself on you?” she asked, voice soft with anger. “I’m going to murder him. If I ever see that smug kriffing face again, I’ll kill him before he can even say your name.”

So much for her having calmed down. Ahsoka frowned, unhappy with her flare in temper over something that had happened so long ago - and something Ahsoka herself had mostly forgotten about. “Oh please, Bo,” she said with a dismissive wave of her free hand. “You tried to do far worse to me than an unwanted kiss when you found out I was a Padawan.”

“That doesn’t mean what he did was okay.” Bo-Katan huffed, pursing her lips into a deep scowl. 

Ahsoka watched her, the way the moon-lit shadows danced over her cross face and the bright pinpricks of stars reflected in her eyes. She looked hard, fierce - but also oddly vulnerable as she stared into the middle distance over the dim valley. Their hands were still pressed together tightly between them, a comforting warmth in the chill.

Emboldened by their conversation and by her nearness, Ahsoka let herself take a small jump. Perhaps she was already saddened by the impending end to their time together, anticipating how much she would miss her friend. Or, perhaps, she was starting to find herself again through the chaos after losing everything she thought she knew. She couldn’t tell if she was being selfish or not, but at the same time - Bo-Katan had offered and Ahsoka had never considered such a thing before.

“You know what,” she said, breaking the silence and bringing Bo-Katan’s pensive gaze back to hers. “Yes, okay. Kiss me.”

Bo-Katan blinked at her, obviously surprised by their joking becoming real. “Are you serious?”

She sounded uncertain even for all her earlier bravado, and Ahsoka nodded. “Yes,” she said firmly, more confident than she actually felt but still willing to see what she might have been missing all these years. “I’m curious, after you made such a fuss.”

“It wasn’t a _fuss_ ,” Bo-Katan retorted sourly.

But with no further argument, Bo-Katan took her helmet from her lap and set it carefully aside so she could turn herself to face Ahsoka fully. She settled with her legs bent under herself and her hands folded on her thighs, silent as she studied Ahsoka’s face in the darkness. Probably checking again to make sure Ahsoka was truly sure of her choice, though she must have found her answer without having to ask.

Ahsoka was about to tell her to stop worrying when Bo-Katan reached up and slid her hands over Ahsoka's cheeks, gently tipping her face up. Her heart thumped briefly against her chest, not sure what to expect, but she wasn’t exactly nervous now, not when Bo-Katan was staring at her so closely with such an unexpected fondness.

“Just a little kiss,” Bo-Katan murmured, so near now that Ahsoka could feel the light waft of her exhale. She took a calming breath, and Bo-Katan’s glittering eyes met hers before flitting downward.

There wasn’t a chance, after that, for Ahsoka to question her choice. The small space between them vanished, and Bo-Katan very gently, very slowly, pressed her lips to the corner of Ahsoka’s mouth. It was such a light pressure, quite unlike whatever Ahsoka had anticipated, and she exhaled through her nose. Her breath hit Bo-Katan’s cheekbone, creating a humid warmth between them that made Ahsoka’s face burn.

Bo-Katan pulled away for a short beat, meeting Ahsoka’s eyes one more time, but then she leaned in again and pressed their closed mouths together. Softly at first, barely any pressure as she rubbed her thumbs across Ahsoka’s cheeks. Her calloused fingers moved back along the curve of Ahsoka’s face to slide against her lekku, settling there near her jaw as Bo-Katan slowly, slowly eased her mouth open against Ahsoka’s to kiss her bottom lip, then the top.

Ahsoka made a tiny noise in her throat, mostly out of pleased surprise, but Bo-Katan sighed against her mouth and leaned back. Her cheeks were ruddy even in the darkness, and she gave Ahsoka a cocky and lopsided grin. That return of confidence made Ahsoka’s heart loosen with contentment. 

“How was that?” Bo-Katan asked, still so close with her hands cupping Ahsoka’s face. She rubbed her thumbs against Ahsoka’s jaw a last time and began to retreat.

Ahsoka reached out before she could, though, and held one of Bo-Katan’s palms to her cheek, wanting to feel the warmth for a few seconds more. She smiled, a little lightheaded but still content. “A much higher bar has been set,” she confirmed quietly. “Thank you for showing me.” She let go of her hands and Bo-Katan slowly pulled them away. Ahsoka felt Bo-Katan’s short fingernails graze her skin as she did, and she quickly dropped her gaze.

Bo-Katan settled back onto her thighs, watching Ahsoka for another short moment before reaching over to pick up her beskar. “I guess it’s time to go, then?”

“Yes,” Ahsoka said, wanting to add _unfortunately_.

Aside from another long sigh, Bo-Katan didn’t reply. She shrugged out of the down coat and swung the familiar battered breastplate over her chest, adjusting the clasps so it sat snugly. Bracers were next, and Ahsoka watched as she secured them around her forearms. All that was left was her helmet, which was already in her hands and ready to don. She was back to normal, and the energy Ahsoka felt from her was calm, self-assured. Herself.

When it looked like Bo-Katan was making to stand, Ahsoka tossed her fingers to use the Force to bring Bo-Katan to her feet. She let out a little curse, startled, and Ahsoka laughed, feeling much better as well. It was certainly not something Obi-Wan would have endorsed, but it was a relief, almost, to be able to use her abilities so freely around someone again.

She stuck out her hand when Bo-Katan had steadied herself after the little shove, and Bo-Katan grasped her wrist to help her up as well. 

They made their way down the mountain together, toward town. Bo-Katan had put her helmet on and Ahsoka could no longer see her face, but their silence was comfortable, companionable.

Lights were just visible ahead of them when Bo-Katan asked, “Will you be back soon?”

“I don’t know,” Ahsoka told her honestly, gaze on the ground even though she didn’t need to focus to know where she was going. “I’m doing a run into the Core, and that always has potential to take a while.”

Bo-Katan was quiet for a moment. Her masked face swung briefly in Ahsoka’s direction and then turned back to the lightly-beaten path. “Then I may not see you again for a while,” she said, the vocoder giving her voice a metallic sound. “Alec has been in touch with someone who found us a ship. We’ll be leaving in a few days. I haven’t decided where we’re going, but we won’t be here for much longer.”

This made Ahsoka sad, even if she knew it was coming. Her heart felt tight in her chest at the thought, and there was a short, strong moment where she wanted to ask Bo-Katan to stay - to stay on Alderaan, to join the Resistance, to fight with her and always be close. But she also knew Bo-Katan would refuse, point blank.

Hiding her disappointment at the nearing departure, Ahsoka said instead, “Well, I will always be nearby if you need me. You know that.”

“And the same for you,” Bo-Katan told her, and Ahsoka wished she could see her face. “That’s what a clan is for, after all. I’ll come to you, no questions asked, if you ever find yourself in trouble. Doubtful,” she added with a little chuckle, “but the offer still stands.”

“Will you let me know where you land?” 

Bo-Katan gave her a brisk nod. “Of course.”

They had reached the edge of town, and Ahsoka paused, torn between continuing ahead or lengthening the visit with her friend she had desperately needed. Her ship was not far, ready for her departure, and the answer was already a given. “I guess this is goodbye, then,” she said quietly.

“Yes, looks that way.” 

Bo-Katan removed her helmet, the artificial light from the nearby buildings bathing her face in a warm glow that highlighted her sharp cheekbones. Ahsoka wanted to grab onto her, to prevent her from leaving again and throwing herself into danger. It was an irrational thought and she pushed it away as soon as it entered her head, but she was still hesitant to break the moment.

“Right.” Bo-Katan held out her gloved hand. Ahsoka stared at it for an absurdly long second, and then clasped their forearms together. “Fight well, my friend.”

“And you,” Ahsoka said, feeling wretched for how short their evening of peace was. “Be safe, Bo, please,” she whispered, sliding her palm down to take Bo-Katan’s hand into both of hers, holding tightly and hoping she conveyed everything she couldn’t bring herself to say.

Bo-Katan returned the pressure and then withdrew her hand. She nodded once, sharply, and put her helmet on. 

“Goodbye, Ahsoka.” 

And then she was gone, walking away and into town to find her companions.

Ahsoka watched her go for longer than she should have, her heart wanting to break as their time together came to an end. She had lost so much, since the Empire rose, and the fear of losing Bo-Katan as well hummed under her skin. There was no telling when they would see one another again, _if_ they would see one another again. But she took a deep breath, grounded herself into the present, and walked to her ship with her head high.

The Rebellion was waiting.


End file.
